In Search of Real French Fries

[Originally posted on January 27, 2005]

I was eating a lunch at Applebee's. I was good that day and ordered onion soup and a salad with the usual glass of water. As I ate I watched the family across the aisle. A rather corpulent couple with 2 young children under the age of five. First came the appetizer special along with glasses of pop for all. Hum, I thought, not what I would order. An overpriced meal but who am I tell people what to economically order for a quick bite of lunch. Then the rest of the meal came. Each adult had a humongeous plate of food set in front of them. The kids received kid's meals of chicken strips and fries. And last were the desserts. Quite a lot of food, I though. Quite an expensive lunch as well. I also pitied the kids as well who were being conditioned to think that fried this n' fried that was what lunch, and probably dinner, was all about. I silently criticized the parents for setting there kids up for future health problems by feeding them fats and salt instead of fruits and veggies. I wondered if thee adult pair even knew what a vegetable was. I mused over the restaurant's choice of serving a basket of fried foods to kids as a substitute for good nutrition and remembered that most restaurants offer a less than healthy meal as their choice for children.

As I pondered the poor dietary choices these adults were making, I wondered if I was ready for a posting on the dangerous diets of Americans. No, I was not. Instead I savored the odor of the fried food stuffs as it made its invisible way across the aisle to my nostrils. How enticing it all was! We humans simply love the odor of fried food. We crave it. We want the high calories that these foods represent. Our primitive ancient biological imperative for survival demands it. No wonder it is so hard to overcome the basic biological drive to consume fats and oils. The buried scavenger pre-human in us believes it is a matter of survival, an instinctual craving in our reptilian brain from a time when the animal in us did not know when the next nourishment was going to come to us. But then I took a closer look at the fries and I felt saddened.

How can a person crave these pitiful things that Applebee's called 'French Fries'. What ever happened to real French Fries? The fried potato that actually tasted like potato. The fried potatoes I remembered eating as a special treat as a child in delis? The French Fries that were an ADDED menu item and not part of a meal? The fries that were not massed produced by potato processing plants which took out all the flavor and added fats and salts? Not the frozen stuff we now commonly see at McDonald's and all other food franchises. Where are the real French Fries???

The last time I had a real French Fry was in Winnipeg, Canada. I can only assume that they are still available somewhere in the USA, but if you really want to know what a French Fry is supposed to be like, you will have to go to Europe where the fried potato is still the number one snack food, and done right. Traveling in places like the Netherlands, France, or Belgium, you cannot help but be aware of the scent of street vendors selling fried potatoes that you buy in paper cones (just like they used to serve at Nathan's in NYC) and topped with mayo (the real stuff, homemade, not the corporate mayo out of a jar, and certainly not the awful and inappropriately named 'Miracle Whip') or some other special sauce, such as 'sate sauce', a pea-nutty concoction that you can get in the Netherlands. In Belgium, you can visit fry shops called 'frietkots', little kiosks that sell a perfectly delicious fresh fried potato with your choice of toppings. I understand that real French Fries can still be had in San Francisco and New York at some European specialty restaurants, however for the rest of us, at least those of us who are old enough to remember, real French Fries are only a memory. As is the case with many other great American foods that were once available before the corporatization of the American diet, French Fries has been replaced by the pale tasteless imitation of today. To make matters worse, the American diet has deemed that what was once a sometime treat is now be a major food group, causing enormous havoc on the health of American children.

Hey, the French Fry isn't even French. I was amused when the Congressional dining room, and one of our local patriotic greasy spoons, decided to rename 'French' Fries as 'American' Fries in protest to France's reluctance to support the war with iraq. The level of intelligence of Congression cafeteria goers most be on the same level as the patrons of the Stadium Lounge. The fried potato is actually from BELGIUM. Only in the USA are they called 'French Fries'. In England, they are 'chips'. In France they are 'pomme frites'. In Holland and Belgium they are 'patat'.

If you really want a treat and don't mind the intake of fats and salt on rare occasion, then you must eat REAL French Fries. Take a pass on the fries at restaurants. Order a fruit, salad or veggie instead. At the very least, never order a kid's meal that are all fried foods Do it for your children. They may whine and complain but here is a tip: Ignore it. You're bigger than they are and they will thank you when they are adults.

HOMEMADE FRENCH FRIES

1 lb. Beef fat -- cut in small pieces
Vegetable oil
1 lb. Idaho potatoes
Salt

Render liquid fat from the beef fat by cooking it in a heavy saucepan over low heat, about 40 minutes or more. Discard pieces of fat which are left over. Add an equal part of vegetable oil to beef fat in pan.

Cut unpeeled potatoes into long strips about 1/4- 3/8-inch wide. Soak in a large bowl of ice water for about 45 minutes. Arrange on paper towels and carefully pat dry.

Heat oil mixture to 365 degrees. Add potatoes in batches so pan isn't crowded. Fry until they begin to look partially cooked, about 5 minutes.

Remove and let oil return to 365 degrees. Return partially cooked fries and continue cooking until they are crisp and golden, 4 to 5 minutes. Transfer to a paper towel to drain. Sprinkle with salt (or seasoning salt) and serve immediately.